Blog entry by Alan Dowson
On being the servant-leader in my relationship
The unexpected benefits of surrendering control
Alpha males and the women who love them
Not all men will get it unless you explain
Patience, integrity…and being a little sweet always helps
Girl alpha seeks all man alpha
Is she afraid of losing control?
My boy Angelsin has been helping me with my day game lately. I’ll speak more on that later though…
Anyway, I head to the mall to try to approach using indirect openers, since that was my mission for the day (from Angelsin).
I get to the mall and in the parking lot, I’m already feeling the nervousness, the anxiety, the AA as you all call it….
Willy Wonka, grow some balls and go in there!!!
I go into the mall. As I’m walking, the first cute chick I see walks out of a nearby store ahead of me and starts walking my way. I have my openers prepared, I know what to say, but I’m ready to chicken out. Fuck it, just get the next chick…..
No! That’s the kind of mindset that keeps me from approaching… Stop being a bitch, Willy Wonka! Just stop her and say a damn opener!!
“Hey excuse me…” She stops.
I deliver an indirect opener I got out of a recent Roosh V newsletter, ”Do you know of any good bars around here to go to for happy hour?”
“Um… [restaurant] is right across the street. They have happy hour from like 3:30 to 9:00, I think.”
“Naw, not [restaurant], anything else?”
“Let me think….. um…. no, I don’t know of anything else…” She starts to turn to walk away.
“Oh okay. Well, I’m actually not even looking for a bar, I was just using that as an excuse to come say ‘hi’ to you.” My frame is strong.
“Oh,” smiles, laughs, “Well.. ‘hi!’” Waves at me and giggles.
I’m about to walk off, then I turn back towards her… “Yeah, so what are you doing, just wandering around the mall?”
“No, I’m about to leave the mall actually.”
“What? Your hands are empty!!” I point to her hands and do some “what the fuck?” arm motions with my arms, “You’re already about to leave? You didn’t even buy anything?!?”
She laughs, “Yeah, well, I used to work up here at [store]… [blah blah blah...some story for why she's at the mall..]”
We walk and talk for a while until we get to the end of the mall. Then we kind of stop… and just stand there, talking.
Then I ask her, “So what are you about to get into?”
“I’m about to go home and take a nap. After that, I’m not sure…nothing really, I guess…”
For some reason, when she says “nothing really, I guess…” I get all nervous inside of me again. Do I ask her on a date tonight??!? Do I try to insta-date her right now? I just fumble… and pull out my phone, which my nervous ass almost drops because my hands are shaking so much. Am, I really about to number close the first chick I approached today? How is it this easy?!? It’s not supposed to be this easy!!
“Oh okay, well here, give me your number, I’ll holla at you later then.” I fumble with the keyguard on my phone like 5 times with my nervous, shaky hands.. .then, I eventually get it and she gives me her number. I call her so she has my number as well, and we exchange names (lol, we talked that whole time without knowing each other’s names).
Then, I walk off. On cloud fucking 9…
I just number closed, I just number closed!!!
I’m like a fucking kid in a candy store. Or a hippie on acid. One or the other, I’m not sure which. I’m grinning from ear to ear like a retard and am so stoked I probably miss a couple more opportunities to approach before I decide to come back down to reality.
Eventually, I do approach again, but I don’t transition well and eject on that set. I leave this mall to head to another mall and I approach a couple of times over there as well. While I’m at this other mall, I get a text….. I look down, it’s the first chick from today, she said “Hey”.
I play it cool, wait it out 15 minutes, then respond back, “Hey Wassup”
“Nothing just waking up not too long ago”
At this point, I’m really starting to think same day lay. Now, I know I should’ve asked her out when she hit me with that whole “after I take a nap….. I’m not doing anything really….” shit. I sit down in the mall and try to look up bars to meet her at, I’m definitely thinking I can get her out tonight for a date and a possible same day lay situation.
Then…. you guessed it…. my fucking phone dies!! Damn you, Evo!! Why must you always attempt to cockblock me?!?
My car charger broke, but I do have my laptop and my USB cable in my car, so I head back to the parking lot to recharge it by plugging it into my laptop.
I sit in the parking lot a bit and get my phone back on, I text her back a very subtle neg, just to buy some time really…. “That’s wassup. You got you some beauty sleep?”
I say this is a subtle neg, because it’s meant (at least in my mind) to make a girl wonder…. is he calling me beautiful? or is he saying I could use some beauty sleep, like I need it? Can’t be too sure about what I meant…
She texts me back, “Lol yeah and it wasnt nothing else to do”
She took a nap because “it wasnt nothing else to do”??? Yeah, I probably could’ve insta-dated her….. Dumbass!!
I text my boy Fiasco to see if there’s any bars around our little “Bang Garage” (Yes, it’s a garage we bang girls in… don’t question it… we both live with our parents…)
He writes me back and says “Nope”. Damn. I try to think of something/look up stuff on the internet. I know there’s a Mexican restaurant not too far from there… maybe they have alcohol. I call them…. “Do y’all have a bar?” They don’t know what the fuck I’m trying to say. I just hang up. I call one of their other locations. Luckily the lady that answers the phone here speaks English. Yes, they serve liquor, yes, they have a bar. Cool. If they do, surely the other location does as well.
I text the chick back, “Lol I feel that. You should come chill with me…. meet me at Jose’s (fake name for the blog) for a drink at 9:00″
Her: ”Which one? What side of town you stay on?”
Me: ”The one on [intersection]. I stay on the [North/South/East/West] Side….”
Her: ”Oh ok well I’ll see whats up. you stay near [highway]?”
Wait…. what?!? “Oh ok well I’ll see whats up”?? What the fuck does that mean?
Me: ”Yeah… not too far…”
Her: ”Oh ok”
Conversation over….
No wait… 20 minutes later, she texts me again…. “So what do you do”
Damn, I hate that question. Especially over text, because I can’t even elaborate. I’m not about to send a 5 page text just give a whole spiel, and I’m not about just say “Unemployed” either…. so, I get smart with her…
Me: “Lol, you tryin to interview me over texts now?”
Her: ”Lol well I guess if you wanna call it that I was just tryin to get to know you”
Me: ”You could just come to jose’s and get to know me like a normal person”
Her: ”Well thats true”
Again… what the fuck?!? ”Well thats true”?!?! Bitch, you’re either meeting me for a drink or you’re not… what is this… “I’ll see whats up”, “Well thats true” crap? Looks like I’m done…. No same day lay for me.
I respond with, “Lol. You so silly. It was nice meeting you today, kinda random….”
I tried to do two things here… hit her with the “well, it was nice meeting you..” line to make her unsure about is he done with me, will I hear from him again? And also the “kinda random” was basically reversing the frame. I figured maybe she’s having second thoughts about hanging out with me because it seems so random to just meet a guy in the mall and then wind up hanging out with him, so I tried to flip it by saying it was random to me too….
She responds back, “Yeah it was nice meeting you too hopefully you keep in touch I guess only if you want to”
I don’t respond. I figure that’s a solid ending point for today.